I’ve contemplated this post for quite a few weeks. This topic can quickly turn into a heated debate so I just wanted to say, this is how I feel about Deeds. I’m not judging or condemning anyone, these are just my/our feelings.
The topic of a cure for autism seems to come up quite often in the different autism circles I roam. I tend to keep my mouth shut because once when venting to a friend about my feelings on the subject I got schooled a bit, so I’ve kept pretty quiet about it since then.
Well I just wanted to get it off my chest… Jeremy and I don’t think Deeds needs to be cured.
There I said it, the cat is out of the bag. Now let me explain. Deeds is high functioning in his autism. When he was diagnosed he was pretty midline in the spectrum but he has since gotten higher and higher functioning. He never developed normally and then regressed, he was different since birth. I can understand those with children that might regress, never talk or potty train really craving a cure for their children.
Are there behaviors I would love to see go away, yes. Do I love the meltdowns that get more awkward the older he gets, or the flapping and jumping? The picky eating/ not eating and sensory issues? The lack of sleep at night or the struggles he has socially…No I don’t love these things. I could do without them and especially without the dangerous wandering that scares me so badly. All that being said, would curing him of these things change the other things about him that we love and that make him, well, him. I would assume yes.
I was once in an abusive relationship and I will have people ask me if I would do it again knowing what I know now. The answer is a tricky one. You see going through that made me who I am now, and I kind of like who I am. You take away that trial and you change me. I feel a little like that with Deeds.
The quirks are part of what makes him so endearing. I wouldn’t want to take away his amazing gift for shapes, letters and numbers. While the mild cerebral palsy makes him clumsy at times, it also makes him one of the best little jumpers I know on the little trampoline. Jumping truly brings him joy, I wouldn’t want to take that away from him.
Deeds shows us a world that we wouldn’t normally slow down to see. He often points things out to us in a new light that we hadn’t even contemplated before and he makes his daddy and I smile daily. I wouldn’t cure him. He is who he is, and I love him. I know he will have challenges in life, but don’t we all. The best lessons I have learned come from my failures and challenges. He is one special soul to come to this earth with the challenge of Autism and I am honored to be his mommy. True there are days that are a struggle, but the beauty in a homemade quilt comes from looking at the final product, not a single thread.