Baby Deeds

Tomorrow I have to tell Deeds and Gwen that Disneyland is not going to happen.  I thought prepping would be best and tonight he even watched some YouTube videos of the Aladdin show and told Jeremy “I think I would like that show with that Aladdin, and to eat with Mickey and Mickey and Minnie Mouse”  No idea why he thinks there’s 2 Mickey’s but Jeremy and I just thought it was so awesome he was showing interest and getting excited.  I mentioned maybe having breakfast with some characters on the phone today and he must have heard me.  Now I have to explain to him that the $2000 we had earmarked for the family trip has to go elsewhere.  The past couple days we have all been getting excited and showing the kids videos and talking about it.  He’s even been telling his teachers at school and now I feel like such a bad mom.  I wish so badly right now that he didn’t have a ridiculously good memory because otherwise I’d just stop talking about it and let it die off.  Sadly once you tell Deeds he NEVER forgets.

I’m heartbroken and I know I am currently crying far too much.  To me it was more than just a trip to Disney, it was a chance for a break with the whole family, a break we’ve never taken before.  Guess not sleeping so much since this semester started is catching up with me.  I was such a genius and took a full course load at the university including 2 difficult classes but have been getting to bed no earlier than 2am almost every night.  I was kind of using the Disneyland trip as a mental reward for keeping up the pace since we were going to go between this semester and my summer one.  I tried to re-budget things to make it work but it’s just not going to happen.  I would like to say I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow but since I have a test in the morning and I’m up studying tonight then working Sunday I guess I’ll feel better on Monday?

Sometimes things really get you down, it’s been a rough week so this was kind of the last straw.  I know I’m whining a lot, and sorry for anyone rolling their eyes right now.  Blogging has been therapeutic for me and this is hard for this mama right now so I just needed to get it off my chest.

Anyone else want to break it to Deeds that we can’t go?  I am afraid I’ll just cry the whole time.